Preparing for back surgery

After much back and forth discussion, I have decided to have back surgery.  This may well be the hardest decision I've ever made, and it has been a long road getting to this place of acceptance. 

A little background:  The neurostimulator implant, which I fervently hoped would be the answer to my prayers, was denied by my insurance company.  They said I didn't meet the criteria.  So, my doctor and I started taking the steps necessary to appeal the decision and push to have it done.  One of those steps was for me to get a second opinion on the prognosis and advisability of getting a stim implant.  

I went to an orthopedic surgeon recommended by my neurologist to get the second opinion.  And that's where everything took a decidedly left turn.  This doctor said that I'm not a good candidate for the stim.  He said I have a mechanical problem in my spine, and it needs to be fixed surgically.  He said I have an extremely good chance to fully recover from the surgery and to be walking two miles a day by three months out from the surgery.  He said I really only have two options -- to have the surgery or not have the surgery and continue on like I am.

Needless to say, this rocked my world, and not in a good way.  The Bright and Shining Hope of a stim implant died a quick and painful death.  I knew that once the insurance company knew what this doctor said, any hope of a stim implant was dead in the water.  

The good news, and the glimmer of hope that I now cling to, is that this doctor does 2-3 of this type of surgery every week and has done so for 19 years.  He has so much confidence in his ability to fix the problems and in my ability to heal, that I am drawing confidence from him.  I have a much different feeling about surgery now than I ever have.

So.............we have a surgery date scheduled:  March 5th.  I am anxious and hopeful, dreading it terribly, and wishing it were far behind me.  Lots of emotions right now!  It is going to be a two-level spinal fusion, and there will be "hardware" involved -- metal screws and rods.  I will get more details when I go for my next appointment with the surgeon. 

But for now, my "Boy Scout" husband (Mr. Always Prepared) is helping me get ready for the weeks and months following the surgery.  He's ordering things from Amazon which will make my life easier, and I'm reading everything I can to help me prepare.  After surgery, I'll be under a 3-month "BLT" restriction, which means no bending, lifting, or twisting, so there is some preparation required.

But, for now ... I'm dreaming my dreams.  Of walking around the block.  Of going shopping for more than 10 minutes at a time.   Of standing up to put my makeup on or dry my hair.  Not such big dreams to most people, I know, but to me, they're huge.